Life is all about loving yourself, respect others and be happy

¨There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. There are certain lottery tickets I can buy, thereby increasing my odds of finding contentment. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I eat and read and study. I can choose how I´m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life (and in occasions when I am feeling too damn sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.¨

Our friend Liz has finally grown up. She is now capable of forgive and comprehend herself. She loves her, and now she is ready to be loved again. And she did find love and peace, and met new friends, and ate delicious food, and travel to a lot of places, and was able to meditate, and able to love again. She is happy. And probably all this is happiness. No, I am not talking only about traveling, loving, eating, etc. I am talking about having horrible periods in the life and then be able to endure those periods  and then realize that we are AWESOME, INCREDIBLE, MAGNIFICENT, TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, etc because we had a period were all we wanted was to hid and cry and hate ourself and the cruel world. We probably did most of those things, but now we are able to remember those times with a smile and proud of ourself. Because we survived!!! It was not easy, but we are alive and remembering those moments with joy and pride. We are heroes.

So, life is always going to give you sorrow and all the things that came with it. But keep true to yourself. Have faith, smile even while crying, because tomorrow you may (or may not) remember this day with your head up. Believe in you and in your dreams. Remember that the craziest dreams are the coolest one. Believe that everything is possible. Remember to tell the people you love how much you love them. Remember to do what passionate you. Remember to make people happy so life can give a portion of that happiness to you. Remember that you are never alone (you may be blinded and see no one, but if you pay attention you will hear someone). Remember that life is short, even when it seems that it goes slowly. This is the moment to be happy. This when you need to love and respect yourself. This the moment to travel around the world. This is the moment to laugh, kiss, sing and dance. This is the moment to be creative, This is the moment to follow your dreams. This is your moment to be happy. Just do it.

We learned all this from our beloved Liz. She is a great teacher and a great human being. It feels good to know that she is happy now. She has everything she has been looking for. And probably got more from what she was expecting. But this is how it works.

¨The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that matters.¨

Audrey Hepburn

F.R.E.E.D.O.M.

“Instructions for freedom":
1. Life's metaphors are God's instructions.
2. You have just climbed up and above the roof, there is nothing between you and the Infinite; now, let go.
3. The day is ending, it's time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.
4. Your wish for resolution was a prayer. You are being here is God's response, let go and watch the stars came out, in the inside and in the outside.
5. With all your heart ask for Grace and let go. 
6. With all your heart forgive him, FORGIVE YOURSELF and let him go.
7. Let your intention be freedom from useless suffering then, let go.
8. Watch the heat of day pass into the cold night, let go.
9. When the Karma of a relationship is done, only Love remains. It's safe, let go.
10. When the past has past from you at last, let go. Then, climb down and begin the rest of your life with great joy.

This was written in piece of paper. It was made for Liz by a friend she made in India. I like it very much. I am not a very religious person, but I have to admit, that I believe there is something else, actually, someone else that is observing us, putting mountains in our path so we can learn to climb them and keep going. Every single phrase is unique and true that it is very easy to relate to it. And at the end, the most important idea of these 10 phrases is: LET GO.

Our friend Liz accomplished her (not more impossible) mission: to meditate. She got what she wanted, she became ONE person. Her body, soul and mind were just one thing: Liz. She has been fighting all this time with these three aspects of herself that she sometimes hated them. I mean, it is completely understandable. How many times did you look in the mirror, you observed yourself and then thought: Why do I have so many pimples, so much hair? Why am I too tall or too short? Why do I have curly hair? Why this? Why that? Why these? Why those? Have you ever thought: Oh, I am lucky to have a face (when there are a lot of women and men who have disfigured face due to war, domestic fights, etc), or I have short legs, but thank you whoever you are (or Big Bang Theory) for having made me like this, because I am lucky enough to be able to walk and I can actually run faster than the others! I know it is hard to think this way, because, come on!, She is perfect, he is perfect, that actress is so brilliant and talented and pretty, and the friend of my friend is also gorgeous. I know! People tend to think like this, but after all, you should never want to change yourself (physically) because maybe you would not be the person you are now. So accepting yourself physically, mentally and to understand your soul will take you to freedom: happiness.

But let´s go back to our friend Liz. She now left India in order to move to a new challenge: Indonesia. One of the new things she has learns is to know the age of the person according to the way the person is feeling. This is what she says:

¨I´ve also noticed that his estimation of his age changes by the day, based on how he feels. When he´s really tired, he´ll sigh and say: ¨Maybe eighty-five today¨, but when he´s feeling more upbeat he´ll say. ¨I think I´m sixty today¨. Perhaps this is a good way of estimating age as any- how old do you feel?¨

It would be great to heard people answer: Today I am 20, today I am 15. Today I feel like a little kid, innocent and playful. At the end, the age does not matter. Is just a combination of numbers, just more numbers in our live. It would be awesome if we decide which age was the best until now, then, promise our self that every day we are that age, maybe this works and we become happier, more innocent and playful.  

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW STRONG MY LOVE IS!!!!!!!!!

It has been hard for Liz getting in touch with her soul and her body at the same time. More than hard, it was impossible. But then, she decided to give it a try, and thought about a kind word: compassion.  This is when she learned to accept that she was not a failure, she was just a human being, neither perfect nor too imperfect.

I really enjoyed this part of the book, because it is like something we should sometimes think about. We are always judging ourselves ( in a very rude way) even when we know how hard things have been. I understand that we all want to be better to deserve the best. But it is not that easy. If we do not enjoyed the road to ¨perfection¨ we will never be able to be better, because at the end, we people do not learn from the final goal or achievement, people learn from the road that take us to that goal!!

So finally our dear friend Liz learned to feel compassion about her own person. This was good. This was great! Because… because… she finally could concentrated and she began to meditate on (and with) God.

There always going to be a moment, a period of our time, where everything is a chaos. When we believe that we have failed. That we do not worth anything. But we need to find the strength to keep going, keep fighting. Only if we survive to this chaotic period of our life, we will feel compassion to ourselves and therefore, we will see how much we worth. That making mistakes is the most simple and common thing in life, and that we all deserve to make these mistakes in order to learn, forgive and succeed.

The expression mentioned in the title is a phrase Liz used to herself in order to feel compassion and to meditate. I really like it, because when we are not in a good moment in our lives, all we feel is anxiety, anger, solitude, sadness, despair, etc. But LOVE is always in us, it does not make itself feel at those moments (we need to learn to deal with bad feelings too) but it is always there, and will always be there. Even the meanest person in the world loves someone or something. Because at the end, love is as essential as the air.

I will finish with a quote from this book. I think that it is a new great perspective about life.

¨There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history: How much you love me? And who is in charge?¨

P.S: I noticed that there are some people who have viewed my blog. PLEASE forgive me for the spelling mistakes, lack of syntax, etc, etc, etc! I love writing but I hate reading what I write, so I do not check my work. Seriously, sorry!

Meditating in India

Our friend Liz left Italy and moved to India. By this time she was feeling much better. She learned a lot of things from her stay in Italy. Loneliness is just a silent friend that reminds you that you are never alone, you have yourself.

Yoga, in Sanskrit, can be translated as ¨union¨. In Yoga you need to find a union between mind and body. Yoga can also mean trying to find God through meditation. Yoga, for people who do not believe in God or are not his fan, means to find the peace within ourselves and the environment.

Even when Liz felt much better, she could not find peace in Yoga or meditation. It actually hurts her (physically and mentally). Being seated for hours, in silent…. No … it was not working for her. Even when she did a great effort to make it right, it did not work! She could not find her peace, she could not concentrate. Her mind was getting bored, angry, depressed, anxious or all of the above every time she was ¨meditating¨.

Her real problem was that she was always thinking about the past and the future. Not enjoying the present. Can you relate with this? Of course you do. Because we tend to worry way too much about everything. We think about the past with nostalgia thinking about everything we did wrong. And we think about the future, and probably about how hard it will get. And when we actually realized that we are living a present, it is because we do have so many problems that it is impossible not to think about these problems at this moment.

She worked really really hard on concentrating, but it was impossible. She gave up. She cried and cried. She hated herself for not being able to make it right. How can it be possible that she wanted this so much but she was failing? It was so unfair. Does this sound familiar to you? Want to do something good and at the end you fail? Yes, right? This hurts more than anything because, come on!, you are working hard but you cannot see the reward of your effort. And in moments like this, all your mistakes, all the bad moments you have lived come back to haunt you.

Liz will need to focus; she will need to learn to accept her past and her future. But more important, to embrace her present. It is completely understandable that after all she went through, is harder for her mind to keep quiet and enjoy silence. She (her mind) has been always wondering around, questioning everything. Trying to take it easy wouldn´t be that easy!.

She is having a new chance, which is to live in a sacred place called India. Meditate, focus and learn about her mind, soul and body. Concentrate and find peace. That is exactly what she needs.

Sometimes we live in a total chaos, where we create this chaos. When we have a moment to relax and breathe, we tend to start thinking about everything (most negative things) and we lose that sacred moment of silence, reconciliation and peace. We need to breathe more and worry less. 

¨Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here, I admit it¨ by Elizabeth Gilbert. EAT. PRAY. LOVE

Is that quote known to you?  NO?!  Well, you are a lucky person. YES?! Well, we are two now. Or three, or one hundred, or one million?!
If you have never asked yourself what you are doing (with your life?) at some point of your life, I take my hat off to you. And all I can say is WOW! Even while writing this post I wonder what I am doing. Because I do not do this kind of things, and yes, this is my homework, but still.  Isn´t life crazy? It is! It is so crazy that makes you do things you never thought you would be able to do, or maybe do things you never wanted to do.  Or do things you do not want to do but still you are doing it (not my case with this post, I kind of enjoy this!)

Our lovely friend Liz is still in Italy, eating, meeting people and learning about herself. Yes, loneliness can be a harsh teacher, but still teaches you a lot of things you need to know. She realized that she has come to Rome to look for pleasure, but not sexual pleasure. She actually decided that she does not want sex for a while, or maybe while she is in Italy. Did she feel lonely? Yes, she did. Did she miss being kiss? Yes, she did. Did she miss feeling love? Yes, she did. But this is what she thought to herself when she feels lonely:  So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person´s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings. 
And to be honest, I admire her for this. Sometimes (or always), It can be really hard for the human being to be alone. We were made to socialized, to feel appreciated, to feel loved and to love people. But we need to love ourselves before loving other people. Because when you love someone else more than you love yourself, is when your world becomes the other person world, and then, that person becomes your world. Then that person leaves, and you do not have a world anymore. You are already lost.

Elizabeth was already divorced, but she felt wrong about everything. She always wanted a love story, and when she met David, she knew that she wanted her love story to be with him. But there were divorced already. No love story for both of them. And that hurts her. So she decided to write an email to David, she needed to say goodbye. Write the happy ending for her love story. It was really painful. The email reported that she was OK, and that she hopes he is OK too. Then she wrote that she thinks they need to put an end to their story, and finishing with: ¨If you want to look for for another partner in your life, of course you have nothing but my blessing¨. Then she signed it with love. It was hard. She realized that what she wanted to read as his reply was something like: Come back! Don´t go! I will change!  Sometimes, life is not that pleasant. She received his reply. He agreed with her, it was time for a closure.  He also informed that he hope she knows how much he loves her, ¨But we are not what the other one needs¨. With this, it was done. They were not a couple anymore, there were not changes they would be a couple, it was done. Oh crap, that hurts!

She was working on her recovery. She received the visit of her sister. She also traveled to Bologna, Florence, Venice, Sicily, Sardinia, Naples and Calabria.

There were only some weeks left in Italy before going to India. So she decided to keep eating, keep practicing her very improved Italian and most important, keep learning about herself.

                                   EAT PRAY LOVE.... lessons about life

One year ago I bought a used book from a ¨Goodwill¨ store. It only cost me USD. 1,50. It took me more than a year to decide to read it. But is fantastic how life works, because I am reading it exactly when I actually need it. I have been learning a lot from this brilliant writer´s opinion about life, love, depression, pleasure and life.

EAT PRAY LOVE, written by a marvelous woman named Elizabeth Gilbert, is actually a ¨diary of searching of real happiness¨. This book is not only written with humor, but with real feelings. It talks to you like nobody ever did; it is like a cruel best friend, who will tell you everything you need to know about life. This honest friend will be your guide in those dark moments we all have.

                                                     ¨SAY IT LIKE YOU EAT IT¨

In the firsts ¨Beads¨ (no, this book is not divided in chapters, but in Beads*) we meet a professional American woman in her mid-thirties who left EVERYTHING (a failed marriage in New York, a nightmare of divorce (that left her empty pocket), a passionate love affair with a younger man) to try (to run away, like some people would say) to find happiness in a gorgeous city called Rome.

What I like most about Liz (a friendly way to call her, like I said before, this book/its author has become our best friend) is that she left a ¨wonderful¨ life to look for her own definition of Magnificent. She was a typical successful woman, she had it all. A lovely husband, a great job as a writer, a lot of money, she lived in the city that never sleeps but, she was not happy. She did not let the world tell her how to behave, what to do. She has a voice and she believes in her voice. She was not happy and she was not making her surroundings happier by not being happy (don´t fool yourself, my friend Liz was super selfish, but I admire her for that. Trust me; being selfish is a difficult task), so she decided to take a sabbatical year and travel to three countries to find herself.  First stop: Italy, where she is not only learning Italian, meeting handsome guys but she is also eating everything she can (it´s understandable, she is in Italy, the country of the Pizzas and pastas).

*When you travel to India you see a lot of people wearing beads around their necks. The traditional japa mala is a stung with 108 beads. Liz decided to structure the book like a japa mala, dividing her story into 108 tales, or beads. 

                                                                 Japa mala